Compatibly Crazy:
Stories of Anguish, Redemption, & Love
by the Fitzpatricks
Prologue by Amy Fitzpatrick
Bravery is not a lack of fear. It is moving forward, entering the fray despite the terror within. David Fitzpatrick is the bravest man I have ever met. He lost decades of his life wrestling with the most insidious demons. Not only did he come out the other side—with literal and figurative scars—he came out crafting art that exposes his inner demons, illustrating and illuminating his terrors for public consumption. He crafts essays and fictions that blend pain, sorrow, despair, laughter, love, and hope.
I don’t believe in fate or destiny, but do embrace divine intervention. I believe if you open your heart to the universe with intent and honesty the universe just might answer. The first 30ish years of my life were lonely and full of self-doubt. In 2009, at 35, I was happy in my own skin for the first time; feeling strong, healthy, successful, confident, even beautiful. Most of all I was ready to open myself to new opportunities. With focused intent and unprecedented self-honesty, I completed the eHarmony survey.
Miraculously the universe answered. Within 48 hours the algorithm brought David and I together. The first smile. The first icebreaker. We spent the following days staying up too late and waking too early to write each other poignant, silly, sappy, happy, utterly infatuated, saga-like messages about our lives. We asked silly questions and answered from the heart.
Stuck at an isolated castle, what one book, one DVD and one ice cream flavor would you choose?
Most overplayed CD in your collection?
Do you think less of me for my movie choices?
Have I told you yet about the pet chicken I had in college?
Favorite Dr Seuss book? Favorite Muppet?
Early in our relationship David did not want me to tell people about his history of illness, afraid I’d be talked out of pursuing it further. Truth is, I knew by our second date (three days after our first) that I had found my home. You’ve seen the Rom Com meet-cute where the world falls quiet and blurs as the music rises? Yeah, that was us.
We call it Compatibility Crazy. I have not walked the same paths as David, I have not been as deep into the oubliette, but I’ve been near enough to understand. David’s demons were—and in some cases still are—the heinous creations of his traitorous mind. My demons were more consistently the “humans in my life” brand, a much easier foe to vanquish in the long run.
I opened my arms to the universe looking for a partner and David was placed in my path. How often does a potential partner bare his soul on the first date? I suspect that’s why we are still together all these years later. We both walked through the gates of Beardsley Zoo on a hot April morning, inviting and open to a new relationship.
The stories that follow will bring you into the physical and psychic struggles that have shaped David and forged his pen. We have chosen to segment this collection into Truth, Half-Truth, and Hope.
Truth and Hope are not always compatible bed follows. For us, these segments are as honest as we are capable; primarily non-fiction essays with a few dashes of creative non-fiction to protect those we love. In Truth, David’s beautiful storytelling is contrary to the hard and horrible parts of his life and includes my perception of intertwining my life with his. In Half-Truth, tales are crafted from kernels and skeletons of truth, with what-ifs and could-haves that build to a pearl and weave flesh onto bones. Hope focuses on our Compatibly Crazy life, essays by both of us about building our life of recovery, redemption, hope, and love.
Whether it is Half-Truth’s Deep End Dance exposing the institutional dissolution of individuality, or the hard Truths of My Decade on Broadway and glorious Hopes of A Good Soak in Dublin, David shapes stories like a master craftsman, skillfully wielding many tools. He uses metaphors that have you hearing colors and tasting sounds, or strings of adjectives that wind around the subject until it has physical form, rhythm, and flow, like tides or heartbeats. He will entice you with unexpected insight, until you feel the torment of a mind wracked by illness.
Our wish is that you will recognize seeds of truth and aspire to grow something powerful. To discover that no one is alone in suffering. That it is possible to find love (Compatibly Crazy or otherwise) even with a difficult diagnosis. That severe mental illness does not permanently rob one of humor, introspection, ambition, and peace. Through my years with David, I would argue illness enhances these traits and makes achieving them that much sweeter.
Keep your mind open to the beauty trapped within bitter realities. Even fiction is full of truth, and most importantly, hope.